random ramblings about the stuff and the thing

Welcome to my crazy world

Follow me (thank you please!)

I Really Should Have Thought This Through

FAMILY SILLY

At five years old, I gave one of my Trolls a particularly striking Mohawk haircut. Hairdresser of the Year, I was not – so I couldn’t wait for his radiant pink locks to grow back. Much to my horror and disappointment, they never did.

Read more

A Letter to My Younger Self

LETTER

Dear 12 year old me, I have some good news and some not-so good news about the next 17 years. Where shall I begin?

Read more

Pearls of Wisdom Just for You (No Need to Thank Me)

Jess

Someone really ought to learn from my mistakes, so please consider the following life lessons my gift to you. You’re welcome.

Read more

En Route to World Domination via Crazyville

balance

I had one major problem growing up and his name was Oliver. I was utterly convinced that as my big brother, he was put on this Earth solely to make me look bad.

Read more

If the King of England Thing Doesn’t Work Out

Chelsea Flower Show - Press & VIP Preview Day

I can’t help thinking that Prince Charles really needs a contingency plan, just in case the King of England thing falls through. So having picked out his key skills and experience, I have a few suggestions.

Read more

Jam Sandwiches, Bubbles and Other Things Worth Getting Excited About

KIDS JUMP

If only we could maintain our childhood innocence forever. We’d be delighted to win a jam sandwich at the Olympics.

Read more

Job Centre Etiquette Courtesy of the Great Unwashed

BOXERS

I don’t make a very good jobless hobo. It seems good breeding and a decent education go against me. If I were to suspend all of my self-respect and decency, then I’m pretty sure I’d master it.

Read more

12 Things You Really Don’t Want to Hear at a Dinner Party

CATERPILLAR

Things that make you want to punch your host in the face or spit in your guest’s starter.

Read more

The 10 Commandments of Facebook

DISLIKE

Thou shalt not act like a complete cretin on Facebook.

Read more

Salt Lowers Blood Sugar and Other Utterly Preposterous Things to Say

JLS

I have a confession. I secretly love it when other people say really dumb things. Does that make me a bad person? Quite possibly, but I can live with that.

Read more