random ramblings about the stuff and the thing
Objective: Become a wildly successful full-time writer, working from home in the comfort of my favourite SpongeBob SquarePants pyjamas. Convince Stephen Fry to write the foreword to my first book.Take over the world. Retire on a bed of gold-plated chocolate money.
Things that make you want to punch your host in the face or spit in your guest’s starter.
I have a confession. I secretly love it when other people say really dumb things. Does that make me a bad person? Quite possibly, but I can live with that.
I quite fancy being a superhero. Just imagine – I could use my superpowers to rid the world of evil, hatred and Justin Bieber. Being a caped crusader is not without its drawbacks though. Who knew?
I would like to express my sincere gratitude for the mass-produced unsolicited marketing material you so thoughtfully sent to me and half a million others today. And yesterday. And every day for the last six and half years.
So, it turns out that staring at a blank computer screen for one hundred and thirty-seven consecutive hours is not the best way to get ideas. Why did nobody tell me?
David Hasselhoff needs to explain himself. I still don’t have a talking car named Kitt and who on earth gave him permission to sing? Let’s see what he had to say for himself in this week’s instalment of Face to Faux.
In addition to perfecting my evil dictator laugh, I have begun working on ideas to expand my readership. With this in mind, I foolishly decided to make a video log (or “vlog”).I hope my debut vlogging experience can be used as a cautionary tale, for anyone else crazy enough to even think about trying.
When meeting The Queen of England, one must abide by certain royal etiquette. I was unsure of the correct etiquette for approaching television royalty Simon Cowell recently, when I faux-interviewed him. But I felt that a curtsy was in order.
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© Jessica Moorhouse, aka Jessseeker 2012. Jess-seeker. Jessica. Geddit?
Banner photos by Shaun Taylor Photography.
