Dear Angie, I Pinky Promise That I Didn’t Eat Any of Those Stickers
Ever licked a crab? They taste like glue. I know this because I licked a scratch and sniff sticker of a crab once – and it tasted like glue.
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British and Proud: That’s an Actual Thing Now
Let’s face it – sporting events just aren’t what they used to be. If they were, I’d be a dead cert for multiple chocolate-gold medals.
6 Things I’m Really Thinking When I Click ‘Like’
Sometimes ‘like’ is not enough. Occasionally, I’m totally jealous and hate you a little bit.
Dear Angie, I Am An Expert Cartwheeler Person
Yesterday, I introduced you to my childhood chum Angie and her favourite colours – rainbows, pink and glitter. We became pen pals and bracelet buddies aged seven, but lost touch until recently, when our paths crossed again, this time purely by chance – in the blogging world. Holy coincidence Batman!
Dear Jessica, Gonzo is a Tool
Dear Jessica, My name is Angie. I live in the U.S.A. I am seven. How are you? I am fine. Do you have a hobby? I like to ride my bike and roller skate. I collect scratch-and-sniff stickers. I enclosed some for you. They smell good but don’t eat them because they taste just like the regular kind of stickers.
50 Shades of Grey Awesomeness
E L James, you have failed me. Why oh why couldn’t your protagonist and wanton sexpot have been called Christian Periwinkle? 50 Shades of Periwinkle would have made a much cooler montage.
When TVs Were Fat and People Were Thin
There is an undeniable indirect correlation between the depth of my television and the size of my waistline. As the owner of a flat screen TV, this does not bode well.
The 10 Commandments of Being Married to Tom Cruise
Thou Shalt Stoop to Conquer. Or at Least Give Him a Stepladder. If all else fails, just stand really far away.
The Contents of Freddie Mercury’s Pants are His Alone and Other Things My Mother Taught Me
It pains me to say this, but my mother is significantly cooler than I am. As a music journalist in the sixties and seventies she shared the back of a limo with Rod Stewart, had tea with Alice Cooper and brought Slade home for cheese on toast.
The Queen Cost Me 8 Pringles, But I Suppose She’s Worth It
Having spent my formative years licking the back of her head, the Queen and I developed a special bond early-on. A little part of me died the day self-adhesive stamps were introduced.
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© Jessica Moorhouse, aka Jessseeker 2013. Jess-seeker. Jessica. Geddit?
Banner photos by Shaun Taylor Photography.