4 Reasons Barbie is Not a Keeper
Barbara Millicent Roberts may be quite the hottie, but she’s not exactly marriage material. Here’s why:
1. She’s kind of high maintenance.
There’s the Dream House, the Beach House and the Vacation House. The personalised Camper Van, Glam Convertible and Canopy Horse and Carriage. 32 wardrobe changes a day. The shoes. The handbags. The dog, the cat, the horse and the unicorn. 
This girl likes to shop. Have you seen the price of the average unicorn?
2. You’ll find more meat on a butcher’s pencil.
With vital statistics of 36-18-33 and standing tall at 5’9″, weighing 110 pounds – Barbie’s BMI of 16.24 places her roughly 35 pounds underweight. 
How is she supposed to rave about your mother’s roast potatoes without even trying them?
3. Cosmetic enhancement doesn’t pay for itself you know.
Born on 9th March 1959, Barbie is now 53 years young. She should look a little something like this: 
But actually looks more like this:
Don’t think that Pilates alone is sufficient to keep her blonde, pert, firm and wrinkle free.
And I wouldn’t kid yourself that she’s a natural blonde either.
(You may need to think about remortgaging the Dream House).
4. You’ll never compare to Ken. 
I heard a rumour he grates cheese on those abs. 