7 Highly Questionable Life Lessons Taught in Movies
So, men love women who are naive, promiscuous, asleep and/or mute. Tell me something I don’t know. Let’s go to the movies:
1. Run away from home, sell your soul to the devil, grow new legs, comb your hair with a fork and become mute. A handsome prince will soon fall in love with you and you’ll be married within a week. (The Little Mermaid).
2. The way to a rich man’s heart is prostitution. (Pretty Woman).
3. If you stumble across an unconscious hottie you don’t know – forget the emergency services and slip her the tongue. It would be rude not to. (Sleeping Beauty).
4. Solve your unrequited love problem: Take up smoking, get a poodle perm and dress kinda slutty. (Grease).
Just remember – no-one looks good in tight leather trousers. Apart from David Beckham.
5. Snog your married ex boyfriend whilst on holiday with your mates and your mega-rich husband will reward you with a HEUWAGE funk off diamond ring. (SATC 2).
So that’s where I’ve being going wrong.
6. If your restaurant cooks really tasty stewed vegetables, then even the harshest of food critics will overlook a silly little thing like a chronic rat infestation. (Ratatouille).
So the rat can cook. I’m still not convinced he wouldn’t poop in my soup.
7. Tale as old as time: When a hideous beast with a serious anger management problem holds you and your father captive – that’s your cue to fall in love with him. (Beauty and the Beast).
It seems I underestimated the benefits of Stockholm syndrome.